Living With Hate Mongers and Idiots

January 9:
Most of the country has been blanketed in cold this winter. I suppose it seems kind of strange if you’re living in Florida or Texas, but for those of us who live in Wisconsin it’s all fairly normal.

There is, however, an interesting wintertime tradition in Wisconsin. Nobody seems to remember, from year to year, what winter is supposed to be like. I suspect the memory loss is somehow beer (or brandy) related, but it is consistent. So, even in Wisconsin people have been talking like this is the coldest it has ever been or like this is the most snow we’ve ever had to shovel. Let me testify that neither of those things is true. I suspect that some of the complaining comes from the fact that the weather is one of the few things that we can complain about without making somebody else mad.

My mother always told me that I wasn’t supposed to ask people about politics or religion. She thought it wasn’t polite. In retrospect, it was probably just smart. Politics, religion (and we should add “money” to this list) are all things that are personal. When things get personal we get uncomfortable and when we get uncomfortable we get defensive. All of a sudden conversation about things that might be hugely important get dismissed as the babbling of hate mongers and congenital idiots.

Since I regularly spend time trying to engage people in conversation about all three of the previously mentioned taboos, I guess I am, at least by some people’s definition, both a serial hater and intellectually challenged. And all I am trying to do is care about people. Somehow, caring isn’t enough.

What seems to be required for us to have meaningful conversations about these extremely personal topics is a huge level of trust. If I trust you and I am convinced that your motives are pure then I might even think about what you have to say.

That’s what makes pastoral ministry difficult. It is hard to talk about spiritual things with people who only show up sporadically, sit in the back and never interact with anyone else. It’s time for us all to recognize that it is not enough for Churches to simply count the number of attendees and assume that if the numbers go up that they are succeeding. And it isn’t enough for attendees to think that they can simply punch in and check out and it will somehow make them more holy. Trust requires more.

In the same way, trust is what makes friendships actually work. It’s not enough to just show up at Thanksgiving or send a card at Christmas time and assume that we are close. Trust requires commitment and commitment requires time.

So, interacting on Facebook or MySpace or reading someone’s blog (even if it is a daily blog) is not enough. It’s a start, but in order for us to talk about the really important things and in order for us to really care about each other we need more. Let’s hope and pray that we can find the time and the opportunity to spend time with the people we care about. Let’s hope and pray that we can learn to trust each other enough so we can care about each other even more.