Hitting The Target

January 2:
As you may have guessed, I am rather new at this blogging thing and I am truly indebted to Google for making this whole process so easy. And “no’ that was not a shameless bit of sucking up to Google. I don’t think that sucking up to Google would get me much even if I tried and it would be really scary (really scary) to think that there was some Google employee somewhere whose only job was to read the millions of blogs that they sponsor looking for shameless promoters of all things Google. But, just in case, let me repeat, I am truly indebted to Google for making this whole process so very, very easy. Let’s move on.

One of the things that was offered (by Google) as I formatted this regular ramble was the opportunity to include targeted advertising. The promise was that “they” would pick ads that were appropriate to my site and every time someone visited my site and clicked on one of the links I would get paid. I’m planning on keeping my day job.

Anyway…when I checked back to see what types of appropriate, targeted ads were included with my blog I found that most of them were ads for weight loss programs. Weight loss programs? Somebody decided that the most appropriate, targeted advertising for a blog site called “Wesley’s Child” would be weight loss programs? Now I’m starting to think that somebody from Google saw my picture and is making a not so subtle comment on my apparent proportions. And I thought the black robe was kind of slimming.

OK…so this whole experienced has reminded me of how close to the surface my personal insecurities really live. I have said for years that I don’t like photographs because they look too much like me. It’s the kind of humor that is meant to cover up the reality of what the words say.

Here’s the good news. It was this same kind of personal awareness that moved me to recognize my need and then trust Jesus to help me. I am a different person today (and in a different place in life) because my personal discontent moved me to trust someone who is bigger than I am.

Some might say that this conversation is proof that my spiritual surrender hasn’t worked. I started out with poor self-esteem and I am still struggling with those same issues today. I still struggle, that is true, but, there is something about the honesty of where I am today that makes all the difference. Before I began my spiritual journey I spent most of my time lying to myself and trying to find temporary covers for what I didn’t want to see. Today I live in an honest relationship with both myself and my Savior. I wouldn’t trade this for anything.

So, in the mean time, I continue to diet because I want to be the best I can be. If it makes me look less fat that would be a bonus.